This has been a crazy year for a lot of people and many of us are feeling the economic downturn. Even people we would consider wealthy are having a wake up call.  Simplifing our lives and traveling lighter is a good thing.

I am talking about circulating into the world those things you are holding onto that you really don’t need. If you have a closet full of clothes with the tags still on them that you do not wear circulate them back into the world. Sell them or give them away. There are a lot of foundations that would love to have those clothes. I think it is better to just donate them. Go through the books that you have collected and donate them as well. There are a lot of libraries that would love to have them.

Take a very critical eye around you and process what you just don’t need that you have been hanging onto. Get the whole family involved. Does your daughter have a huge collection of stuffed toys that she has outgrown. Maybe she would like to let them go to some children that would love to have them. Does your linen closet hold sheets for beds that you no longer have?

I think you are getting the picture. In this time of everyone saying there is not enough to go around, I have found the opposite is true. There is enough, so share a little of what you have.

While you are at it, how can you give of your time as well as your material possessions. Find somewhere to donate your time and become a volunteer a few hours a week. Get in touch with your community and your world. We need each other. It is time that we started acknowleding and not hoarding what we have and be of service to one another.

I for one am not adding to the materialism of the holiday. I have told everyone…no gifts that have been purchased and gift wrapped. Re-gift something or give me some of your time or assistance.

If you have any thoughts or ideas how to make this holiday season a better one for all concerned …please share.

Some years ago I was a wreck. I was depressed, heartbroken and all I wanted to do was stare

into space and weep. I was angry also at what I perceived as another betrayal in my life. I just wanted to be happy and content but it seemed it was elusive. I was not in the spiritual growth path that much or I am sure things would have been a little easier for me. I was still in my victim thinking years. I felt so empty and I didn’t have any direction.

This particular day I was sitting on the back porch overlooking a beautiful lake. It is evident that I wasn’t practicing gratitude because I had so much to be grateful for. The porch was connected to a beautiful house with a divine lake view. I had friends and money in the bank and I was healthy. When you have a broken heart you don’t think of those things.

There was also a hurricane on the way but you couldn’t see it by what the morning was showing. The sun was out and the sunrise was showing a glorious palate of colors. I was living in Florida at the time

and hurricanes were a normal threat during the season. This one was going to be a doozie if it came near Tampa and it did. I had battened down and put away everything I could and I had never felt more alone. It looked like I was going to ride this one out by myself.

As the day wore on and I listened to the weather reports I knew I was in for it. The wind was picking up

and I was very happy that I had stocked up on candles, batteries and food that didn’t need to be refrigerated. The weather did little to improve my mood. It was just something else to be unhappy about.

In my depressed state I didn’t care what happened to me. I had asked God to please take away the pain I was feeling because it was unrelenting. It felt like a rock was living in my chest.

People on the coast were being evacuated and I was far enough inland that I didn’t need to get out but it was still dangerous. I was not in a flood zone. Nevertheless, I watched the lake level rise above anything I had ever seen because of the unrelenting rain that had come with the wind. The wind was horrendous.

It whipped the trees around like they were rag dolls and it blew in all directions. I saw roof tiles flying around from someone’s roof (maybe mine) and a lawn chair I had forgotten went sailing by.

After a time the power was lost and I was prepared so I turned on a battery powered radio and listened to some soothing music. It wasn’t too long after that that the winds died down and stopped. The eye of the hurricane was going over. In the eye it is very calm until the rest of the hurricane passes over. It is only a brief respite from what is still coming.

I opened the sliding doors and went out on the porch and the silence was eerie. Then I heard something that sounded like a bird in distress. It didn’t surprise me because of the storm. I wondered where the birds go when there is a hurricane.  I kept hearing it and it was a pitiful sound. I decided to investigate.

I walked around the yard and followed the sound and that is when I found her. I had a utility building on my property that was on a raised platform. There was a wet kitten just under the edge of it. Her eyes weren’t even open yet. I was amazed that she had made it through all the wind and chaos. I picked her up and took her into the house and wrapped her in a towel and proceeded to get her dry. the whole time she cried. She was hungry…very hungry and cold. I held her against my chest and wrapped my hands around her until I could feel her body warm up. She slowly stopped shivering and meowed and purred a bit and started crying again

.

This little bit of life was lucky as I knew just what to do. I had everything I needed because of a baby squirrel incident about 4 months previously. I prepared her some milk in the tiniest of bottles and put it to her mouth. She sucked away ravenously. I watched her previously flat stomach plump up. I decided to call her Harriet. I found a box and made Harriet a bed and filled it with soft old towels and put her to bed. She had already gone to sleep with the bottle in her mouth. Pretty soon the other half of the storm roared over. I almost didn’t notice it because I was busy with this tiny little fluff of life. After a few feedings she was not content to go right back into her box. She wanted to be held. I would hold her next to my heart wrapped in dish towel and she would purr her heart out and go to sleep. After two days she opened her eyes and looked at me for the first time. My heart melted. I had bonded with her through caring for her. That was also the first time I knew that I had not thought about the pain I had felt and that it was gone. It was gone the moment I picked her wet trembling body up.

In the act of caring for another my pain was forgotten. God had answered me just not in the way I expected. I had asked and I received. I took her to my vet and it was confirmed that she was a Harriet and not a Harry. She was healthy and unscathed by the storm. My vet said that it was divine timing that I found her when I did and that she was so lucky. In my heart I knew that I was the lucky one and that she had found me. I was sent exactly what I needed to pull me out of the blackness I had been in. It didn’t return either. During the storm and caring for Harriet I had realized many things. Helping someone else will bring you out of almost any dark mood. We are to help each other even if it is only a smile to someone who is frowning. We are not in this world alone even if it may seem that way at times. More importantly, God is here now, always. If ever I doubted there was a God, the doubt evaporated on the day Harriet arrived during the hurricane. I thought back on all the times I had called out to God for help

and knew that I had received it every single time. I am so grateful for the experience of the little hurricane angel. This is just something to think about.

because there is way too much of it in our world. We may call it an opinion but it is still judgment. We call it just an observation but it is judgment. Whatever you call it or however you try and cover it up, it is judgment. All judgments come from an ego issue or fear of some kind any way you slice it. Judging someone or something makes us feel momentarily powerful and better than another.

We feel so righteous and glad that we are not that way. We pat ourselves on the back that we can so clearly see the situation or the person in the truth of our eyes. We are so glad that we are not the person we are judging and having their experience of awfulness.

There is no one who has ever not been judged. We have all lived with this in our life experience.

It is so easy to judge someone or something that we know almost nothing about. When we do this we are coming from a place of ignorance. How many times have you judged something only to find out later that you were absolutely wrong? It is a big ouch moment to find out that you can actually be wrong about something, misinformed or opinionated. If your judgments of others has caused pain and hindered the growth of someone else then it is time to seriously look at your life.

We can form attitudes towards others but are we coming from knowledge or just an opinion?

I would like to point out that the person we are hurting the most is ourselves.

I have been judged and it does cause pain and righteous indignation but only momentarily. There was a time in my life when it would have devastated me but no longer. I do not choose to live my life and honor my path according to the judgments of others. It is not my right to judge them for judging me either. They don’t know that they don’t know. Many times the judgments come from past experience and the past has nothing to do with the present. Living life clouded by the past is not going to empower your life. What is going on now in this moment? This is what matters.

If your father beat you, berated you and ruled with fear, it does not mean that everyone will be this way. This is past experience. It is time to write another story and another truth unclouded by the negative past.

I recently found out that a family member is judging me and this person has not been in my life for a long time and knows absolutely nothing about my path and purpose in life. They are judging me according to their present value system and according to the past we shared together.

They have arrived at a hard wired opinion of me that is not even close to the truth. They are very quick to point it out to others and want them to agree with their judgments of me. They think they know all about me. They claim to know what is in my heart and mind. They are maligning and insulting me at every turn. I have always held this person up in love. I wanted the very best that life had to offer for him. I was so very happy for his growth and accomplishments in life.

For some strange reason when I rose above the past of childhood and embraced a spiritual path,

he chose to slap me down verbally with other family members. It became all about him. It is true that he has always been materialistic and self absorbed but that is just him. I have always known that he was judgmental and a little cold but that is just him also. What he does not see is that in many ways he has become just like his father. I don’t think he will ever be aware of this.

His past has not always been pretty either. He made a lot of wrong choices and decisions also.

He is not a paragon of virtue. Because of the past and his version of it, he views his world in an unappetizing manner. In his eyes once you have done something wrong, you are always wrong.

What does this say about him? Is he perfect? I don’t think so. I have a lot of compassion for him.

I truly do.

I have made many wrong turns in life and made some uninformed choices. I was so unconscious spiritually and lived with a big time victim mentality. I did not take responsibility for my decisions because I had never learned how. It took some defining moments of a traumatic nature to move me in the direction of God. I now know myself and why I am here. I know what my purpose is. In the walk and the talk of my path as a spiritual teacher, public speaker, author, minister and life coach I have encountered so much negativity and heartache in people. The universal desire to rise above this is great.

When I knew that this is what I am here for, I asked God in meditation one day what my credentials were. The answer I was given is my life experience is the only credentials I need. This experience is not what I would want to wish upon another. It has been long and arduous.

That is when I knew a profound truth. How can anyone get across to another a different more spiritually powerful way to live unless they have known the darkness? In order to know the light you must first have experienced the darkness. In order for someone to be helped and guided by a spiritual teacher, the teacher should have known some adversity in the area they are talking about. I do not question my purpose any more. I am strong in my belief and my faith in myself and my God. I am in debt because of my chosen path. I have put my money where my beliefs are. I trust that what I need will come to sustain me.

If you are still judging others and following along with others opinions of situations and people, it is time to rise above this. It is hurtful and cruel. It is cowardly and full of ignorance. Come from a position of absolute knowledge but don’t judge. No one has walked in your shoes but you. No one has walked in my shoes but me. Stop hiding behind the curtain of judgment and remember you could be next. When you judge, you are putting yourself in the position of being superior to and better than another. How hard the mighty fall when they judge another. Just something to think about!               www.makeachoicenow.com

www.myspiritletters.com ladydiannia@makeachoicenow.com

I thought back to the time I was around that age and the day I knew there was no Santa. I was like most kids who believed with all my heart that Santa was real. Santa was like a God to me. A man with magical powers who knew if I had been naughty or nice, could fly through the sky all over the world and in one fell swoop cover the planet in one night. Throughout my childhood my parents struggled to provide Christmas for five children. I don’t know how they pulled it off but they did

consistently until the year that Santa took a nose dive.

The tree was up with all the pretty lights that night. It was scraggly but to me it was beautiful. My father had never had a Christmas to speak of in his childhood because both my grandparents were serious alcoholics who neglected their two boys. He was like a big kid at Christmas as he lived this particular season through his children.

This time of year was always a better time for all of us because it would put my usually angry abusive father in a good mood.

That Christmas morning there were no presents under the tree. Shock went through all of us when we got up and went into the living room. Some of the younger ones started to cry. My parents got up and explained that because we tried to stay awake to see Santa, he had left the presents in the trunk of the car. I was stunned. Why would Santa do that? Other children all over the world tried to stay awake and they still got presents under the tree.

They dressed and told me to help them bring in all the presents. Nothing was wrapped and it appeared to be thrown in the trunk. I could hear my parents arguing. My hearing was acute so although they were whispering, I could still hear them. The general tone was about dad drinking too much and how that had decimated their funds. Dad had gone to a giveaway charity to get some gifts for us.

He had to take what he could get and what he got was very pitiful. Then I heard dad say the words that changed my childhood. He said, “I wish there was a Santa so we wouldn’t have to go through this every year.” In that moment something in me crumbled. They realized that I had heard everything and I was warned not to tell my siblings. They never stopped to think about the impact this news had on me.

I was quiet and withdrawn that day. Christmas changed in a big way as its meaning was then lost to me for a long time. I was a spiritual child and thought a lot about God but the concept was scary because I was being taught about this being who knew if you had been naughty or nice and knew every thought and every heart just like Santa. God could give or takeaway anything at any time.  Unalike Santa…however, God was the BIG Kahuna of everything and was just as mysterious as Santa. If Santa wasn’t real then maybe God wasn’t real either.

I fell into a depression at eight years old. My world didn’t make any sense at all.

Mom thought I was sick and coming down with something so she sent me to bed.

More than discovering that Santa wasn’t real were my shaky thoughts about God and how real God might be. I had been receiving conflicting teachings since birth about God and now my young mind was blown away.

I didn’t talk to anyone about it. This was a pivotal point in my life. I was having a dark night of the soul. I had already been labeled different and strange by some adults who had been present when I brought up subjects about the universe and God. These subjects were just not the normal things a child of my age would talk about in the fashion that I did. I made a lot of people uneasy when I would ask direct questions like, “Has God ever spoken to you?” or “Do you think that God is listening to us right now?”

A few nights later I became angry, so angry in fact that I didn’t know what to do with it. It is said that depression is nothing more than anger turned inward. I do believe this to be true. I went out into the back yard after dark while everyone was watching television and sat down in the dark. I started to cry and told God that I was angry at him because I didn’t know if he existed anymore. I felt so lost. I wanted to know why I was ever born. I cried and wailed and shook my little fists and railed against a God that I was unsure existed, could hear me or even cared.

What happened next was the first time I felt the presence of the creator. I suddenly felt that I was not alone. A sense of profound peace descended over me and I suddenly felt very calm. My tears stopped and the anger and confusion left me. It was like someone had pushed a button. I could hear the soft wind in the tree branches and I felt like I had left my body. The closest thing I can give as an example of what I felt is similar to how you feel just as you are under twilight anesthesia for some minor surgery. Time stood still and I felt wrapped in love. I just felt at peace. It felt like a long time but when I finally went inside…only about twenty minutes had passed.

I stopped wondering that day if God was real. I knew I had been touched in some healing way by the presence of God. I never told anyone in my family. I knew they would not understand and would only tease me. It was my great wonderful secret.

Since that day I have had so many life experiences that have been beyond the pale but one I hang onto was that night in the backyard when God soothed and loved a lost, frightened and very depressed child.

In losing Santa…I found God. There are blessings in every experience we have. We just have to be open to see it and understand it.

This is just something to think about!

www.makeachoicenow.com

www.myspiritletters.com

God is everything, the “All That Is” of existence. We are all a part of God but He is greater than the sum of all the parts. This is something that some spiritual “gurus” tend to overlook or misinterpret. We ourselves are not God (although we possess some God-like abilities); we are not equal to God; we are “a part” of God. Although we can manifest things we want if we focus enough and have sufficient belief in the outcome, there is one thing we cannot do. God can manifest souls; we can’t do that. So this does prove that God is greater than the sum of all His parts.

I often find it easier to connect to God than to people. I connect to some of the people some of the time but certainly not all of the people all of the time although I would like to. That’s not to say that I don’t feel love and compassion for others – I do – but it isn’t as consistent and far reaching as my love for God. The photo was taken as I stood on a very cold February day on the Blue Ridge parkway. I could feel and hear God in a powerful way. He told me all that I could see was mine in the moment on this day. I understood.

I have a friend who does not think she is as connected to God as I am although she tries very hard to be. She “thinks God” but has not as yet been able to make the transition to “feeling God”. But on the other hand, she is so connected to nature that she can communicate with plants. She has an enormous collection of plants and if she is away from home she will suddenly start thinking of one in particular and when she gets back home, sure enough that particular plant will be in need of some TLC. She thinks it’s amazing that I can “feel God” and receive messages from Him. She doesn’t know it but she is connecting with God through nature.

I have another friend who is having a rough patch in life right now. She is going through many changes but she is always there for someone who needs her help. She is able to transcend her troubles for a while and be totally there for someone else. She has her days when it all seems overwhelming but if you need her she is there. She doesn’t know it but she is an ambassador for God. She is showing tremendous grace under fire. It was tough getting to know her at first so I gave her a lot of space and just let her know I was here for her. I was rewarded because she is an amazing young woman and doesn’t even know it. She has been a wonderful gift for me, helping me with my website and marketing efforts.

In actual fact we are both connecting to God just as much but in different ways. I am connecting with the mind of God (or universal consciousness) but she is connecting with God’s creations. In the end, it is all the same thing. There are others who I know that are so connected to every person who crosses their path and they transmit God’s love to all they encounter. They might not specifically pray or even profess to have a belief in God but in actual fact they “are believing” because they believe in humanity. Their connection is every bit as strong as my direct connection to God’s mind.

We are all different and unique souls residing in our temporary human bodies. And of course one of our “tasks” is to remember who we really are. There are so many ways of remembering and connecting. No way is better than another. We are unique and so are our pathways back to God. So don’t ever think that you are less advanced spiritually because you aren’t communicating directly with God. If you love God’s creations then you are loving God Himself and communicating through that love. And if you are “moved” by nature then you are feeling God’s love by appreciating the beauty of His creations.

If I wasn’t connecting with the mind of God, then I wouldn’t be writing the articles that I do, so this form of “God connection” is appropriate for me. It is through my articles and websites that I share God’s love and blessings with others. I am basically an indoor, computer orientated person and often have to force myself to budge off my computer chair; it’s a wonder I haven’t become welded to it! But this would not be such a suitable God connection for an outdoor person. For them a connection to nature is much more appropriate according to their individual personality. And obviously, if a person is very socially orientated and has a wide circle of friends and acquaintances, then loving all humanity is more appropriate for them because they have contact with so many different people. In the end it is all the same. Of course, ultimately, we would all like to connect with God in all ways but until we reach that stage, any way that we are connecting to God is a wonderful step towards our ultimate enlightenment. We are all sharing God’s love in our own ways. We are all remembering that we came from God and we will return to God when our mission here on Earth is complete. 

So if you think you are not connecting with God, think again. Your connection may be more powerful than you can imagine. This is just something to think about.

From the Desk Of Rev. Lady Diannia Baty ©

I received a strange call the other day from a woman who said she got my card from a friend and without introducing herself she started in on a situation regarding her sister.

I asked for her name and she reluctantly gave it to me. It seems her sister who was way over 21 years old had joined a group called Wicca and she was very worried about her.

She wanted to know what she should do about it. I asked her why she called me about this.  “Because of your card,” she said. She assumed because I am a psychic and a spiritual teacher I would be intimately acquainted with this group. She even thought I was involved with this group. She assumed it had to do with black magic.

I patiently told her all I knew about this organization and the history of it and explained to her that her intolerance and lack of knowledge about this was what was troubling to me. Knowledge is power, I told her. If you don’t understand something you should find out all you can about it. Don’t stand in judgment of something simply because you don’t understand it. It is because of my study of theology and religion that I had knowledge of this group and the persecution of it. Many of its members have been burned at the stake and worse because of a lack of knowledge about it. We haven’t come very far since then in terms of tolerance and honoring other people’s belief systems. Wars have been fought over this intolerance and the belief that our way is the right way and your way is wrong.

The fact is your way is just a different path than mine.

Do a little digging if you don’t understand something. Find out all you can about it and then form your conclusions based on the facts. Our court systems have come a long way from the Salem witch trails but we as a people have a long way to go.

The intolerance is widespread and prejudice is rampant. Today it is the atheists against the believers. Both sides rise up in righteous indignation against each other. I honor anyone’s right to think what they think. I don’t stand in judgment and try and hammer and shout at them on how stupid and silly they are. I am silently strong in my stance.

My final word to her was not to judge her sister and find out all she could. I told her not to point fingers and shout at her that she was crazy. It was not the way to show her sister she cared. It would only cause a rift between them that would be difficult to heal. I know that God exists. God is really beyond description. No matter what you believe, be kind to others who don’t see things the way you do.

The need to be right is what is wrong with our world today. It has caused so many wars and millions of people have been killed in the name of God. It is still happening right now. We are a diverse world and should have come to a place where we can be more tolerant of others but we have a long way to go. Be a part of the new paradigm of peace and knowledge and non-judgment. If you always have to be right and view others as always wrong, it may be time to look at your relationships with others.

Just in case you are curious about Wicca. Look it up and do your research as I did.

You just might be surprised! I am not going to do the research for you.

If you are one of those people who is always standing on your soapbox, take a clue to how other people are reacting to you.

If you are always pointing the finger out in judgment, there are three pointing back at you.

From the Desk of Rev. Diannia Baty

It was one of those storms that come out of nowhere. If you have ever lived in Florida and been through one of these, they can be pretty frightening. If you look closely you can see the little bumps that can easily become tornados. This is nature at her finest.

When one of these monsters is looming and the wind is starting to pick up, there is only one thing to do and that is run for cover. Of course, the first thing I did was run for the camera and then run for cover before one of those bolts of electricity

melted my tennis shoes to the ground.

This storm raged and the winds blew and knocked over patio furniture. The rain fell in buckets. My dog was hiding under the bed as usual. The lightning was awesome but very dangerous. The bolts were constant and the thunder boomed so loud I thought my ear drums were going to burst.

These storms were the norm during the rainy season and I am one of those people who love storms. After about two hours it was gone as quickly as it came. The sun came back out and you could see steam rising from the pavement. Time to pick up the patio furniture and get back to whatever you were doing.

Now this was a real storm but I am reminded of the other kind of daily storms that can come out of nowhere in our lives. In a heartbeat everything can change. We will be in a car accident or get a diagnosis of terminal cancer from our doctor. We could get the news of a death in the family or be laid off from work. Our spouse could ask us for a divorce or someone has stolen our identity and has credit cards in our name. We could be served with papers to appear in court because someone is taking us to small claims court. I think you get the picture. These life storms can literally melt our spiritual tennis shoes to the ground unless we are somehow prepared to handle them.

I am not trying to instill a “the sky is falling” mentality. What I am trying to do is to make you aware that you must have your spiritual practices fully functional to be able to weather these storms. Be aware and fully present in your life. Become the highest and best version of you that you were meant to be. Then when the storms come you have the ability to stand tall and firm. You will not be a victim of the event. You will be a participant who is fully aware and able transform the event to something positive. It is so easy to forget that we have an ally when the storms threaten to knock us over or knock us out. God is ever present. Our creator doesn’t hide under the bed.

If you are one of those people who only acknowledge God when things are going bad

then it is time to stop blaming God for all the upsetting things in your life. If the only time you even think of God is when you want to blame something on your creator, think again. God is there when the sun shines and when your children are born. God is always there. If a bolt of lightning hit me and fried my shoes, I know it is the storm and not God that did it. How do I know this? I can sum it up in three words.

God is Love.

Rev. Lady Diannia Baty

While practicing gratitude today…promise yourself to look for at least one miracle.

When your thoughts are lined up with the intention of heartfelt gratitude incredible events occur because your energetic thoughts and emotions are in alignment with your source.

Energy from the creator is always without exception of the higher kind. This makes more sense when you remember the old phrase “to take the high road.” So, the way to greater peace and connected to source would be to use your free will to be in a constant state of being happy for what you have , are and experience in life.

You are allowing what it is, what it is instead of constantly pushing against it with your words, thoughts and deeds. The more you push against something the more momentum you give it. By the same token if something in your life is pushing against you and has you practically crazy with anger, worry, or stress then lean back and away from it and the momentum of its push into your life will carry it forward until it falls flat on its face with no power to cause you spiritual or physical harm. When you push back you are acknowledging its presence as something that has enough substance for you to push against. If you ignore it soon it will be gone replaced by higher energetic thoughts

that empowers you. Why use your energy and free will up by pushing against your issues

and trials when you can transmute it with thoughts of gratitude. When your energetic thoughts and intentions are for your greatest and highest good then that is what you will attract into your life.

Martial arts instructors will tell you that the best way to use self defense is not to push against an opponent. You are taught to lean back and to the side and the momentum of

the push will carry them forward and off their feet. Remember when you may have pushed at a door that was stuck and then suddenly it pops loose and you are thrown forward. It is the principle of forward momentum.

Imagine if you will for just a second what it would feel like if you stopped pushing back?

When some distracted driver cuts you off and almost side swipes you. Instead of getting angry and stressed, pause a second and use gratitude. In a flash all forward momentum is

stopped cold. You are at once peaceful and fine with it. You will not be carrying forward the experience of a traffic goof by being irritated and angry all day. Don’t let the poison in. Stop being the person who tells everyone for the rest of the day about what happened to you in traffic that morning. This is self defeating and you are not only feeding yourself negative energy, you are feeding it to everyone else.

If you are in a state of gratitude you would see that when you were almost sideswiped

split second timing was required so you were left unscathed. You and your car are intact and unharmed! What a miracle!

When you go about your day practicing gratitude miracles occur if you are expecting them.  Without imposing your previous beliefs with limits and boundaries

on what you think a miracle should be or look like create an intention that you will be open to recognize them. When you think of a miracle allow it in and see it for

what it is not for what it isn’t. Soon your entire life will be full of them. They are happening right now. Do you really want to miss the miracles of your life? I would think that right about now you would be saying, “No, I don’t want to miss them.”

Well then, you know what to do, don’t you? This is just something to think about.

The Time Of The Great Sadness

Rev. Lady Diannia Baty © 2009

I am currently published in an anthology book titled,

 “Remarkable Women of Faith”

along with notable women like Jennifer O’ Neil and Ann Jillian. The book is available on my website. Some of you who have read it have wondered about some things in my chapter. In this chapter I am being interviewed so it is in a question and answer format.

I talk about my life and the fact that I buried two children and some people have questioned me about that because in the book I do not elaborate. So in this article, I will unzip my soul and bit and let you in.

I was very young when I got married the first time. I was one week shy of my 17^th birthday. He was three weeks home from Vietnam and battle scarred. We met at my grandmother’s home in Virginia while we were visiting her. He was the first born son of one of her good friends. Even though he was no longer in the service at that point he still wore his uniform. He was handsome and confident. He had been a platoon Sgt. in Vietnam and had some incredible stories to share. I thought he was trying to impress me but it turned out the stories were horribly true. When he left he was a small town golden boy and when he returned he was a shell of his former self tormented by the horrors of war and drinking heavily to shut out the dreams that haunted him nightly.

Long story short we fell in love. I went back to Texas with my family and he had told me that he would come for me. Exactly two months later with no prior warning he did just that. My grandmother, his mother and brother were with him. He asked my father for my hand in marriage and before I knew it I was getting married in a small ceremony in my parent’s living room. In a week I was packed up to take the journey back to Virginia in a crowded car still reeling from the fact that I was a married woman. We lived with my grandmother for three months until we got our own place. It was tiny but it was ours. I enrolled in the local high school to finish my education. I was a bit of a curiosity as I was the only married student so I didn’t come close to fitting in. Before long, I was pregnant. I miscarried in my third month.

It was a sad time for me. James was drinking heavily and the general opinion was he was blowing off steam and it would pass. Little did we know but he was a full blown alcoholic when he retuned from Vietnam. The drinking was only going to become worse. Since my father was an alcoholic I had jumped from the frying pan into the fire.

Right after I graduated I became pregnant again. I had a healthy pregnancy with no problems at all. The birth was easy on me and my sweet daughter was born. I was released after two days from the hospital.

She was healthy and beautiful. Right from the beginning she would nurse and sleep

and was so peaceful. She was not a fussy baby. When she was eight days old she started sneezing and I took her to the doctor who said “all you new mothers are the same,” you worry about nothing. He told me it was blanket fuzz. Four days later she was dead. I am not sure if there was any connection between her sneezing or not but I nursed her, put her in the bassinet at 4 am and when I awoke she was gone. It was surreal and I was in shock. The rest is a blur and the death certificate said crib death. They call it sudden infant death syndrome now or SIDS. I held her while we waited for an ambulance hoping it was all a bad dream and that she would open her eyes and it would be fine. My heart felt as if it was shredded to ribbons and it was hard to breathe. I was given a few shots to sedate me and to dry up my milk that was wetting my nightgown.

The doctor told James that the best cure was to get me pregnant as soon as possible.

Six months later I was with child again. Same scenario this time easy pregnancy, easy birth and along came my son. He was beautiful and perfect and started doing things way before he was supposed to. He rolled over at ten days old and was holding his head up and looking around. I was enthralled but nervous and didn’t get much sleep because I would check on him every 15 minutes or so.  When he was about four months old I started to relax a bit. I felt everything would be okay now.

During this time James was drinking heavier than ever. He was drinking 190 proof grain alcohol mixed with orange juice.

We lived in a mobile home in the woods out of town a ways. It was an isolated spot.

What went on there during this time was a nightmare. He would get drunk and get out his pistol and start shooting holes in our home. I would grab the baby and hide in the woods until he passed out. Little Cecil was the only bright spot in my life. His family knew about all this but they were little help.

One day when Cecil was about five months old I had nursed him and put him to bed. It was about 7 pm. It had been about thirty minutes when I heard the most intense cry come from his room. It startled me. We both ran in and he was bluish and his little arms and legs were jerking inward.

Long story short, off to the hospital in an ambulance and many rounds of tests. My emotions were wild with worry. He was there for two weeks and had the same jerking spells while he was there but they could not agree on a diagnosis. Cecil was having a tough time of it and we would come home for a few days or so only to have to go right back to the hospital. The next three months of his life were spent this way. James was no help at all. I have never felt so alone in my life.

The day it happened we had just brought him home from the hospital the day before. James decided he was going into town to his mother’s home. She never said anything to him about his drinking and in fact had started drinking with him.

I begged him not to go this particular day. I didn’t want to be alone with Cecil and no transportation. He didn’t listen. He said if you need me I will be at moms. His mother’s home was 22 miles away.

I was holding Cecil and he started to jerk and turn blue and this time it did not stop like it had before. I tried mouth to mouth when he went limp and nothing worked. In a bit I knew my sweet baby boy was dead and my world would never be the same.

The death certificate read brain hemorrhage. I know that James would not have been any help but the fact that he left us all alone was unforgivable to me. I went catatonic at the hospital and had to be hospitalized. I wanted to die so I could be with my babies. I wanted no part of this world.

It took a little while but I finally was ready to leave James. He had been in and out of the VA hospital because of the drinking and almost died once. His liver was shot. He had turned yellow and his stomach was swollen. I begged him to try and stop but he was too far gone. Before I turned twenty one he was dead and I was a widow and all my dreams were gone. I went back home to Texas and moved in with my parents to start my life over.

This would be the first of many deaths that I had to endure and a lot of trauma and drama along the way. I cried out to God many times to help me understand why this was happening to me. Why did life have to be so horrible? I now know that everything I suffered through was to prepare me for what I am today. It wasn’t until I allowed the light in that my life started to change. First I had to develop faith and a knowing that God had never left me. It was me that had left God. Month after month and year after year I developed a deep personal relationship with my creator.

I found peace and joy for the first time in my life and I never felt alone again.

I look back at this time in my life and it is like a replay of a bad dream but I know it wasn’t. Bad things happen to all of us and it can be horrible but the most horrible part of all is I was estranged from God. The creator had been with me the whole time but I had tuned out the grace and guidance that I desperately needed.

So shed no tears for me and the telling of this part of my life is to give you hope and help your faith grow stronger.

There is always a brighter day…always.

I am living proof of that. I am happy and content with God’s love and never again will I leave that which lifts me up and fills my cup. This is just something to think about!

www.makeachoicenow.com   website    ladydiannia@makeachoicenow.com  e-mail

Every now and then I hear the phrase in an African accent –“create them
coming”. The voice is my recollection of a time when I attended a workshop
and one of the expected guests had not arrived.

People were saying how this guest is always late or not showing up at all. In the midst of everyone’s opinion of this person, a woman very much in her native dialect exclaimed with great passion, “Create him coming! Create him coming! Stop creating him not coming. Every one of you Create him coming! Create them all coming”

 Stunned, the environment shifted in that very moment. I thought what a wonderful way to live in life. We all have the opportunity to “create” the life we want to experience and create the life we want to have. And so we did. We created him coming by saying, “he’ll arrive shortly. He just got off the plane and he’s in the car on his way here.” And Guess what? The gentlemen did come, dashing around the corner. He had only been delayed. Funny how that works, isn’t it?

 It could be said that the world shifts in our speaking. Our world and our reality shifts in our speaking.

Biblically, I can hear my grandmother say, “speak those things as though they were.”  It is somewhat of a declaration, a world in which you create to live into. Then there’s the faith and belief that the declaration will come to pass.

 Sometimes we only believe that which we can see however it takes great faith and trust to believe in that which we cannot see. I’ve talked many times about vision. Everything we see now once a vision and a vision only. Someone then gave that vision language and spoke or share it with others. The believe those things  would exist and now they do.

There is a lot more we can discuss, however it begins with your speaking and giving language to your vision. The world shifts as we speak. And things manifest as we believe in that which we speak.

Steps to remember

Create a Vision

Speak the vision

Believe the vision

Expect the vision to be realized.

As with the gentlemen, we spoke a vision and believer he would show up and he did.  

From that day forth I wondered what else I could create just in my “speaking and believing” that it would be.

I’ve seen many amazing things since that day. Sharing the vision of Every Woman Lives a Life of Power, Passion and Dreams Come True has created things beyond my wildest dreams. I find myself shocked and amazed by the results in my life. And it all began because I opened my mouth and I spoke and believed it would be.

I invite you to discover your vision and purpose and “create” it a reality.

How many things can you create in your speaking?

 Remember The Power Lives within you and it’s always been there!

Until next time,

Lisa Thomas
Visionary For Women
The Power, Passion and Purpose Group, Inc
www.TheP3Group.com